Sunday, January 30, 2005
THE LESSONS OF MY PARENTS
My parents - William and Jenne Briedwell -- young teenagers in "loooove"
Posted by Hello
As I said in my recent post regarding my parents, they have represented great role models, not only to my sisters and me, but also to their grandchildren, as well as many of our life friends. While I am not claiming their absolute perfection (no one is perfect, I know!!), I genuinely believe that anyone who has been lucky enough to known them would want to model/pattern themselves after them. I know I always have and will continue to try to do so.
When we were children/teenagers living under their roof, they taught us how to treat others, especially those we love, with honesty, kindness, and tolerance. While providing us with parental guidance and discipline, they never sought to overtake or alter our identities --- Rather, they treasured and valued our distinctive, unique (and oftentimes exasperating) creative identities. In fact, their primary objective/purpose in disciplining/teaching us as children/teenagers was showing us the consequences of our actions, while at the same time, nurturing and fostering our self-esteem and self-worth.
They had a fine line to walk--- but their hard work in learning this fine balance (teaching/guiding, yet not controlling, not hypercritical) was ultimately rewarded... They all have children/grandchildren who not only love them, but even as important, RESPECT them and admire them. And, they also have adult daughters with great self-esteems and self-worth’s, each going the ultimate distance to reach for the stars that our parents held out for our achievement.
Most importantly, their discipline was never geared towards tearing us down or restricting/constraining our creative identities. And, while some of our distinct characteristics could not be all that enjoyable or even pleasant to them at times, their focus continued to be encouragement and support, NEVER disparagement, control, manipulation, power and/or ridicule.....
Once I became an adult, they continued to parent me in their supportive and loving role. All of us girls know that they have always been there for any of us at a moments notice. Yet, we also noticed some small changes in the way they related to us as adults...
One major difference is they have never imposed their unsolicited advice upon us.
Another is they have NEVER (and I do mean absolutely NEVER --even to this day), interfered with our relationships with our spouses or children.
Surely giving them many reasons/opportunities to stick their nose into our adult happenings/relationships as adults/parents in our own right, my parents instead choose to stand back in loving support, ---giving us advice/guidance when we specifically ask for it, trusting us to come to the best decision for our own lives ---and staying in the background to provide help/support when we needed it/asked for it ---- guiding us with their tolerant, compassionate, and loving example. Genuine, unadulterated love is not about control!!!
I know in my own early married life that my parents were confronted with numerous opportunities wherein they could have reacted particularly negative to my spouse or me and interfered with our marriage. In fact, they held their tongues numerous times, even under pure, directed unambiguous verbal attacks on THEM from one of our spouses... Yet, they never said a word.... Why??? Not because of fear or intimidation --- (believe me, most who don't know my dad/his true heart have been deathly intimidated by my Dad). Rather, they did it because they love us and support us -- and only had our ultimate happiness in their minds as their NUMBER ONE priority.
They were never caught up in thinking that their way was right and our way was wrong and that we better damn sure come to their conclusions. Bottom line: no conditions/strings attached with their love... They genuinely loved each of us (and still do) despite all of our many shortcomings/mistakes as human beings... Further, they never waste their precious time on earth saying “I told you so” when we make mistakes. No--- they are only there to pick us up when we fall...
Although I am not claiming sainthood on my parents by any means, their selfless acts make me think of the “passion” of Christ. He loved us so much that He made the ultimate sacrifice so that we might live, despite our sinful and even despicable ways.... He was not judgmental or criticizing -- but led us and taught us through his loving and gracious example. In addition, He sought to encourage and guide, not pillage and wreck. And finally, He was “righteous” -- not “self-righteous.”
THAT, my friends/family, is a true example of parenting/loving others/your children with passion...
Posted by Hello
As I said in my recent post regarding my parents, they have represented great role models, not only to my sisters and me, but also to their grandchildren, as well as many of our life friends. While I am not claiming their absolute perfection (no one is perfect, I know!!), I genuinely believe that anyone who has been lucky enough to known them would want to model/pattern themselves after them. I know I always have and will continue to try to do so.
When we were children/teenagers living under their roof, they taught us how to treat others, especially those we love, with honesty, kindness, and tolerance. While providing us with parental guidance and discipline, they never sought to overtake or alter our identities --- Rather, they treasured and valued our distinctive, unique (and oftentimes exasperating) creative identities. In fact, their primary objective/purpose in disciplining/teaching us as children/teenagers was showing us the consequences of our actions, while at the same time, nurturing and fostering our self-esteem and self-worth.
They had a fine line to walk--- but their hard work in learning this fine balance (teaching/guiding, yet not controlling, not hypercritical) was ultimately rewarded... They all have children/grandchildren who not only love them, but even as important, RESPECT them and admire them. And, they also have adult daughters with great self-esteems and self-worth’s, each going the ultimate distance to reach for the stars that our parents held out for our achievement.
Most importantly, their discipline was never geared towards tearing us down or restricting/constraining our creative identities. And, while some of our distinct characteristics could not be all that enjoyable or even pleasant to them at times, their focus continued to be encouragement and support, NEVER disparagement, control, manipulation, power and/or ridicule.....
Once I became an adult, they continued to parent me in their supportive and loving role. All of us girls know that they have always been there for any of us at a moments notice. Yet, we also noticed some small changes in the way they related to us as adults...
One major difference is they have never imposed their unsolicited advice upon us.
Another is they have NEVER (and I do mean absolutely NEVER --even to this day), interfered with our relationships with our spouses or children.
Surely giving them many reasons/opportunities to stick their nose into our adult happenings/relationships as adults/parents in our own right, my parents instead choose to stand back in loving support, ---giving us advice/guidance when we specifically ask for it, trusting us to come to the best decision for our own lives ---and staying in the background to provide help/support when we needed it/asked for it ---- guiding us with their tolerant, compassionate, and loving example. Genuine, unadulterated love is not about control!!!
I know in my own early married life that my parents were confronted with numerous opportunities wherein they could have reacted particularly negative to my spouse or me and interfered with our marriage. In fact, they held their tongues numerous times, even under pure, directed unambiguous verbal attacks on THEM from one of our spouses... Yet, they never said a word.... Why??? Not because of fear or intimidation --- (believe me, most who don't know my dad/his true heart have been deathly intimidated by my Dad). Rather, they did it because they love us and support us -- and only had our ultimate happiness in their minds as their NUMBER ONE priority.
They were never caught up in thinking that their way was right and our way was wrong and that we better damn sure come to their conclusions. Bottom line: no conditions/strings attached with their love... They genuinely loved each of us (and still do) despite all of our many shortcomings/mistakes as human beings... Further, they never waste their precious time on earth saying “I told you so” when we make mistakes. No--- they are only there to pick us up when we fall...
Although I am not claiming sainthood on my parents by any means, their selfless acts make me think of the “passion” of Christ. He loved us so much that He made the ultimate sacrifice so that we might live, despite our sinful and even despicable ways.... He was not judgmental or criticizing -- but led us and taught us through his loving and gracious example. In addition, He sought to encourage and guide, not pillage and wreck. And finally, He was “righteous” -- not “self-righteous.”
THAT, my friends/family, is a true example of parenting/loving others/your children with passion...
# posted by Lawchick2005 @ 10:18 AM 
